A Testimony About Righteousness

Several years ago I read an article by Lee LeFebre in a Christian newsletter, The Exchanged Life, that the Lord used to show me something about myself that surprised me greatly. The article itself had to do with marriage, but that is not what was relevant to me. There was a principle set forth, and the Lord applied the principle to another area of my life.

I have been involved in church meetings longer than I can remember. I have always enjoyed the things of God and wanted to do what is right. I am very much aware of the good news of grace: before salvation we are lost sinners deserving of hell, but God saves us by grace through faith with no works of ours having anything to do with it. However, I cannot remember ever feeling lost and on the way to hell, but have felt as long as I can remember that I was a good person who did not deserve to go to hell. I should go to Heaven because I am someone who wants to know and serve God and do what is right. For many years I have been aware of this feeling and of its disagreement with the Bible, but I did not know what to do with it. I just affirmed that even though I felt that way, I chose to go by what the Bible said and not by my feelings. But the feeling persisted.

When I read Lee’s article, I had a revelation from the Lord that changed all that. Lee dealt with someone, a man, let’s say, though it could be a woman, who is in an unhappy marriage, but he is a Christian and wants to do what is right. He thinks divorce is wrong so he decides to try to stick it out. He does not want to hurt the children, so he will try to endure for their sake. He could have an affair to fill the void, but that is wrong, too. All of his effort is spent in trying to avoid the wrong and do the right. But he remains miserable. He is trying to be a good Christian in a bad situation, and he is failing. There is a good possibility he will eventually give in and do the wrong thing, have an affair or get a divorce. What is he to do?

Lee points out that the man is actually not facing a right or wrong choice, but a false choice. In the garden of Eden there were two trees that were important, the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Notice that it is good and evil. The tree was not evil (God made it), but it represents a choice, the choice between doing what is right and doing what is wrong. The Christian knows what is right and tries to do it, but he fails. The problem is not the choice he is making between good and evil, but that he is choosing the wrong tree. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil is the tree of law and self-effort. When a Christian chooses the good and tries to do it, he will fail, for Christian life is not lived by self-effort. The man needs to choose the tree of life, Christ, and let his life in him direct his choices and be his power and victory.

At the end of the article, Lee points out that Christians who are tired of self-effort, self-righteousness, pride, self-love, and hypocrisy can renounce these and call on the Lord and choose the tree of life, and he will then show them his way. I have never thought of myself as self-righteous. That is one of the last things I would have ever thought about myself. However, when I saw that word self-righteousness on the printed page, the Lord opened my eyes to the fact that my lifelong feeling of not deserving to go to hell and of deserving to go to Heaven because of my goodness is self-righteousness. He also called to mind Phil. 3 where Paul lists all of his righteousness in his flesh. He says he was blameless regarding the law. I do not know that I would say I was blameless, but I was right that I was a good person who wanted to do what is right and to serve God. As goodness among people goes, I am probably as good as the next person. I do not say that boastfully, but just as a fact.

The problem is that maintaining that goodness of myself is choosing the wrong tree. I was in effect saying to God, I have chosen the good side of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, so you owe me. I deserve what I want and need from you, and I deserve to go to Heaven. I would never have thought or said such a thing, but I was doing so by my actions without realizing it. All of this came to me in a flash. The whole revelation was just there. Yes, I do have a righteousness of my own, and it may be above average, but with Paul I can say that I count all that but garbage that I may know Christ. I would rather know Christ than maintain my goodness, so I am now choosing the tree of life. Interestingly enough, the Lord has been showing me some things about myself that reveal that I was not so good as I thought I was.

 I have always thought of self-righteousness in terms of the Pharisees, arrogant, looking down on those not so good as they, and so forth. But self-righteousness can take other forms. Paul was a zealot, a fire-breather, out arresting Christians to execute them or throw them into jail for being Christians. I do not think I have been arrogant and overbearing, though I do have a tendency to be critical and judgmental (when you think you are good you can do that rather easily!). I just thought I was a good person, and I was as goodness goes in this world.

Thanks to the Lord for opening my eyes to something in myself that was a very bad trait that I did not know I had. How does this principle apply to you? Are you choosing the good side of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and trying to be a good Christian in your own strength, or are you choosing the tree of life? As God said to Israel through Moses, Choose life! Choose Christ!

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